(For both genders to understand that mentoring for women is important, and to show men how to correctly mentor a woman).
By Lilly Adjorkor ADJEI
Tema – 20 February, 2019
Feedback from the previous article on this very topic really shows how sensitive yet important the subject of mentoring is.
The process of men mentoring women has suffered setbacks which can be repaired, but how?
The majority of societies have been organised along patriarchy.
Sometimes this has been justified based on religious writ.
‘Certainly you will find more traditionally male-dominated organisations, professions [and] industries out there today.
And in places like the military and tech, STEM and finance, you’re going to find there just aren’t as many women around, especially senior women in top management positions – as you go up in the ranks – to mentor the junior women coming in,’ stated David Smith, associate professor of Sociology at the U.S. Naval War College (transcript of podcast published on hbr.com on 23 October, 2018).
Religion and culture cavorted with the male species to make that happen.
‘The number of women who have come forward as a result of the #MeToo movement has been astonishing. My hope is not just that it is here to stay, but that it is as effective for the woman who works as a maid in a hotel as it is for Hollywood stars,’ Ruth Bader Ginsburg, US Federal Supreme Court judge told The Atlantic as quoted on thisisinsider.com 22 August, 2018.
In our own backyard, we need to acknowledge the efforts of some civil rights organisations.
‘The Centre [CDD-Ghana] believes that appropriate policies and measures must be introduced and implemented to accelerate the realisation of gender equality in Ghana,’ read a statement issued by the Ghana Centre for Democratic Development (CDD-Ghana), on International Women’s Day on March 8, 2018. ‘Paramount among these is the passage of the Affirmative Action Bill, which will ensure 50:50 representation of women in key public appointments.’
We have rocked the boat but we still need to keep rowing to stay ahead with the men. So just like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, we need tact, patience and men.
To women:
Certainly don’t be afraid to take up a mentorship offer from a man, but what should you consider before giving your consent?
How genuine is the offer? Is it laced with sexual innuendoes?
Observe their interactions with the opposite sex. Does it smack of entitlement, a hostile sexism of the ‘Make me a sandwich’ attitude or worse? If it does, please find the exit door; he is looking for a servant, not a mentee.
To men:
‘What good mentors do: they open the doors, they find the opportunities, they find those stretch challenges in jobs that help the mentee to grow and make sure that they do the same for female mentees as they do for male mentees out there’ – David Smith, associate professor of Sociology at the U.S. Naval War College.
Create a level playing field. Do not hesitate to show her the exit door if her attitude is not right. But before you misunderstand the word ‘attitude’, male mentors should develop the temperament for handling female whims. Something in our chest and our DNA makes us fussy sometimes, we admit.
To women:
Is he showing you off to the world as someone who is good at what you do or keeping you in the background?
To the men:
Give enough sponsorship; you need to be her networker; you need to introduce her to people.
To women:
Are your interactions with your mentor in public? Are you comfortable? Where do you meet? Where do we get together?
To men: Have a breakfast/lunch-only policy for mentoring. Don’t allow gossip to start.
As always, keep it clean.
‘Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are admirable, whatever things are excellent or praiseworthy – if there be any such things – think about such things’ – Philippians 4:8.
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